Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Good Man And The Appeal Of The US Army ...
There used to be a concept of chivalry -- the ideal for men was to provide for their families, protect the weak, respect all women, be faithful husbands, loving fathers, and stand up for what is right. And, traditionally, when the time came to protect America, everyday male citizens grabbed their rifles, and stepped up to the plate.
While you get clinkers in every culture, in every time period, and in every walk of life -- for the most part, I think most men are decent. They have ideals, morals and ethics which they try to live up to. Most men that I know, young and old really do try to do the right thing.
However, American men, of all colors, have been kicked in the teeth by our culture for the past 30 years. Feminists have pretty much told us that all men are rapists, even with their wives. Not only are they rapists, you can't trust them to be faithful. Men oppress women. Men are responsible for violence and corruption all over the world. And, American culture has bought into this -- with best selling novels, TV series, popular music, and movies.
Allow me a little self indulgent blogging, to make a point: We've spent the past 17 years raising a daughter, and 18 years raising a son. Our experiences trying to raise the son in a hostile culture has been enlightening. And, remember. When we started this enterprise, I considered myself a feminist.
But, there's nothing like raising kids to leven one's political notions with a little reality.
When YoungRooster was in pre-school, his teacher called me in for a conference to discuss his chauvanist tendencies. At the tender age of three. (scratch one day care)
Then, my kids started public school. I can identify off the top of my head five teachers, mostly English teachers, who were less than fair to their male students. Of course, my daughter did splendidly; she's smart, works hard, and is of that magic gender.
My son has done splendidly as well ... because despite the occaisional gender prejudice, nobody can ignore his grades and academic drive, no matter how they like to. He's also maintained his "A" average, and achieved National Merit status, with bloody little encouragement. But, not every boy has the academic knack, and sheer bullheadedness that RoosterBudgie does, I've watched many of his male contemporaries tune out -- when they should have been making the honor roll.
In Middle school, despite the fact that his gradepoint average was the highest in the school, he was not invited into Junior Honor Society -- because of vague "other" factors. I also happened to notice that there were no boys in NJHS. After I threatened to write a newspaper article on the role of gender in NJHS ... the school administration suddenly admitted five boys into the group, none of them in the more rigorous gifted-talented classes. Again, my son was not included, because of vague "other" factors, while my daughter was ushered in with accolades.
Now, things that might have been considered were that he was on the "A" football team. He was included as a student representative on the school steering committee. He was asked to represent his school at every UIL competition, and he found time to do community service. He worked on the fledgling school newspaper.
One of the "other" factors included him being in a fight off of school property. A kid jumped him, and he clocked him. Another factor was that he was escorted home by the police, because he and a friend went on a night walk, after curfew, in the friend's neighborhood. And, I guess the third was that he explored a construction site near school property. ProfessorBudgie was not really concerned about any one of the exploits; he explained that every male teacher at the school, and in this country, could quietly relate to the escapades, but I also guess the above transgressions were related to the powers that be, with stern repercussions. It's a small town.
Of course, YoungRoosterBudgie is also a handful in class. (He could be apain in the buttinski at home when he was younger and less civilized.) He pays attention, and asks plenty of questions. He'll also call the teacher on inaccuracies, and is usually correct. He makes sardonic comments. Then, he'll turn in impeccable homework (on time), brilliant essays, and he aces the tests. Pretty maddening for a female teacher who's conditioned to think all men are rapists and oppressors. I guess the good news at our household is that if a teacher hates YoungRooster, she'll love his sister. It's worked that way.
So, what has our culture taught YoungRoosterBudgie?
Has he learned to respect women? Awhile back, a girl at school kicked him in the nuts, then laughed "I can hurt you, but you can't hit back because I'm a girl." Lovely; but he didn't hit back; two points for self preservation, I guess.
Later, one girl was being hassled by some other guys, and he stepped in to stop it. Later, yet another girl was being hassled and he let it happen -- he said that she got herself into it, and she could get herself out. ("Mom -- she was sitting on the guy's lap!")
At times, he's been moved to protect the weak. He stood up for a taciturn Christian student at school last spring when the Christian was being ridiculed by a young wannabe Satanist during lunchtime.
Before Christmas, he showed up with a homeless pregnant cat. ("Mom, I couldn't just leave her there in the cold ...")
I guess there's more good than bad there, but there have been bloody few contemporary role models to point to. Good men in our society have been methodically "deconstructed" by the liberal media, and the best guy characters featured in recent movies tend to be gay.
Until 9/11.
One thing that suddenly happened after 9/11 was respect and admiration for firemen, and policemen. Almost overnight, women in this country suddenly woke up to the fact that testesterone doesn't have to be a bad thing. Men can actually use their superior muscle mass to save women and children from burning buildings, and from Islamofascist crazies.
And, then, there's the military. Thank God, in this war, we're supporting our troops, and even most of those that don't respect the military have to pretend that they do.
We've got one young friend, the voluntary son, who's finishing boot camp. Another one of my son's friends, who's been offered money for college, is considering enlisting. There's a third that's headed into the Air Force.
If you join the military, you risk your life these day. yet plenty of young men are joining up, and alot are re-enlisting. While back in 2000, boys might have joined a peacetime army for benefits, in 2005, anyone who doesn't know they're probably going to be sent to a combat zone is too stupid to contemplate.
So, what's the lure of the army to these young men, who do have many other options? I think it's not false promises ala Mother Sheehan --although I'll admit that recruiters can wax loquatious.
I think it's the fact that the US Army is one of the few organizations where masculine traits are praised, accepted and used for -- well -- good. It's the place where hero's these days are grown and identified.
Doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, politicians and Indian Chiefs are not praised for their intrinsic masculine traits. We're all supposed to pretend that gender doesn't matter, that our professionals aren't masculine, even if they're men. We praise them for more traditionally feminine traits -- like understanding and sensitivity.
But -- if you're a US soldier, you're allowed to do the traditional masculine thing. You use that superior muscle mass, and natural aggressive tendency for good. You protect the weak, you respect women (they drill it into you even if you don't come by it naturally), and you kill bad guys. And, while there are a few clinkers in the military, they're the exception - and they're likely to get court-martialed.
HotChickBudgie reported the other night that the voluntary son called her from boot camp, saying he likes the army, but has done some soul searching, and discovered he's not a killer. I could have told him that; murder is not in this young man's heart. And, I think that's a good thing. Killing a guy that's shooting at you is not murder, nor is decimating an army that's protecting a regeime that murders innocents. Good men did that forty years ago, and that's why we don't speak German or Japanese.
Part of the process of growing up for both men and women is learning to recognize what needs to be done -- doing it -- and learning to live with the consequences. Life's not always about a good choice, there are times when you have to choose between what's bad, and what's worse. Or what's horrible -- and what's evil.
Masculine qualities in the military are both desirable and praised. And, it's not just masculine traits -- it's the concept of the good man. The straight shooter, the dude who will help you repair your house, the guy who'll protect you from harm ... and the man who'll kill villians in the world if his country demands it. (and, yes, yes, I know, there are women in the military as well, and that's a topic for another blog entry)
So, for today's male teenagers, joining the military (or the police or the fire department) just might be the only place where they can be who they are. Men. Not gay guys, or sensitive house husbands, or self flagellating novelists, or greedy capitalists, or rapists of all women -- but simple, basic, decent guys.
See, the average decent guy in this country is not exactly honored for who he is. Alot of women tend to blame men for every problem in their lives. I think it's past time for us to take responsibility for our own lives -- to use the freedoms we've won, to take responsibility for our own mistakes, and let the men in our lives be who they are.
Perhaps someday, other professions will permit men to once again be themselves. Of course, if men are allowed to be masculine -- then women can be feminine. Which is not a bad thing for anyone.
Incidentally, please click to CampKatrinaBlog for examples of really decent guys, doing really good things. And congratulations to Officer Candidate Phil Van Treuren.
(photo from MichaelYon. I hope he wins his Pulitzer.) ¶ 8:00 AM
There used to be a concept of chivalry -- the ideal for men was to provide for their families, protect the weak, respect all women, be faithful husbands, loving fathers, and stand up for what is right. And, traditionally, when the time came to protect America, everyday male citizens grabbed their rifles, and stepped up to the plate.
While you get clinkers in every culture, in every time period, and in every walk of life -- for the most part, I think most men are decent. They have ideals, morals and ethics which they try to live up to. Most men that I know, young and old really do try to do the right thing.
However, American men, of all colors, have been kicked in the teeth by our culture for the past 30 years. Feminists have pretty much told us that all men are rapists, even with their wives. Not only are they rapists, you can't trust them to be faithful. Men oppress women. Men are responsible for violence and corruption all over the world. And, American culture has bought into this -- with best selling novels, TV series, popular music, and movies.
Allow me a little self indulgent blogging, to make a point: We've spent the past 17 years raising a daughter, and 18 years raising a son. Our experiences trying to raise the son in a hostile culture has been enlightening. And, remember. When we started this enterprise, I considered myself a feminist.
But, there's nothing like raising kids to leven one's political notions with a little reality.
When YoungRooster was in pre-school, his teacher called me in for a conference to discuss his chauvanist tendencies. At the tender age of three. (scratch one day care)
Then, my kids started public school. I can identify off the top of my head five teachers, mostly English teachers, who were less than fair to their male students. Of course, my daughter did splendidly; she's smart, works hard, and is of that magic gender.
My son has done splendidly as well ... because despite the occaisional gender prejudice, nobody can ignore his grades and academic drive, no matter how they like to. He's also maintained his "A" average, and achieved National Merit status, with bloody little encouragement. But, not every boy has the academic knack, and sheer bullheadedness that RoosterBudgie does, I've watched many of his male contemporaries tune out -- when they should have been making the honor roll.
In Middle school, despite the fact that his gradepoint average was the highest in the school, he was not invited into Junior Honor Society -- because of vague "other" factors. I also happened to notice that there were no boys in NJHS. After I threatened to write a newspaper article on the role of gender in NJHS ... the school administration suddenly admitted five boys into the group, none of them in the more rigorous gifted-talented classes. Again, my son was not included, because of vague "other" factors, while my daughter was ushered in with accolades.
Now, things that might have been considered were that he was on the "A" football team. He was included as a student representative on the school steering committee. He was asked to represent his school at every UIL competition, and he found time to do community service. He worked on the fledgling school newspaper.
One of the "other" factors included him being in a fight off of school property. A kid jumped him, and he clocked him. Another factor was that he was escorted home by the police, because he and a friend went on a night walk, after curfew, in the friend's neighborhood. And, I guess the third was that he explored a construction site near school property. ProfessorBudgie was not really concerned about any one of the exploits; he explained that every male teacher at the school, and in this country, could quietly relate to the escapades, but I also guess the above transgressions were related to the powers that be, with stern repercussions. It's a small town.
Of course, YoungRoosterBudgie is also a handful in class. (He could be apain in the buttinski at home when he was younger and less civilized.) He pays attention, and asks plenty of questions. He'll also call the teacher on inaccuracies, and is usually correct. He makes sardonic comments. Then, he'll turn in impeccable homework (on time), brilliant essays, and he aces the tests. Pretty maddening for a female teacher who's conditioned to think all men are rapists and oppressors. I guess the good news at our household is that if a teacher hates YoungRooster, she'll love his sister. It's worked that way.
So, what has our culture taught YoungRoosterBudgie?
Has he learned to respect women? Awhile back, a girl at school kicked him in the nuts, then laughed "I can hurt you, but you can't hit back because I'm a girl." Lovely; but he didn't hit back; two points for self preservation, I guess.
Later, one girl was being hassled by some other guys, and he stepped in to stop it. Later, yet another girl was being hassled and he let it happen -- he said that she got herself into it, and she could get herself out. ("Mom -- she was sitting on the guy's lap!")
At times, he's been moved to protect the weak. He stood up for a taciturn Christian student at school last spring when the Christian was being ridiculed by a young wannabe Satanist during lunchtime.
Before Christmas, he showed up with a homeless pregnant cat. ("Mom, I couldn't just leave her there in the cold ...")
I guess there's more good than bad there, but there have been bloody few contemporary role models to point to. Good men in our society have been methodically "deconstructed" by the liberal media, and the best guy characters featured in recent movies tend to be gay.
Until 9/11.
One thing that suddenly happened after 9/11 was respect and admiration for firemen, and policemen. Almost overnight, women in this country suddenly woke up to the fact that testesterone doesn't have to be a bad thing. Men can actually use their superior muscle mass to save women and children from burning buildings, and from Islamofascist crazies.
And, then, there's the military. Thank God, in this war, we're supporting our troops, and even most of those that don't respect the military have to pretend that they do.
We've got one young friend, the voluntary son, who's finishing boot camp. Another one of my son's friends, who's been offered money for college, is considering enlisting. There's a third that's headed into the Air Force.
If you join the military, you risk your life these day. yet plenty of young men are joining up, and alot are re-enlisting. While back in 2000, boys might have joined a peacetime army for benefits, in 2005, anyone who doesn't know they're probably going to be sent to a combat zone is too stupid to contemplate.
So, what's the lure of the army to these young men, who do have many other options? I think it's not false promises ala Mother Sheehan --although I'll admit that recruiters can wax loquatious.
I think it's the fact that the US Army is one of the few organizations where masculine traits are praised, accepted and used for -- well -- good. It's the place where hero's these days are grown and identified.
Doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, politicians and Indian Chiefs are not praised for their intrinsic masculine traits. We're all supposed to pretend that gender doesn't matter, that our professionals aren't masculine, even if they're men. We praise them for more traditionally feminine traits -- like understanding and sensitivity.
But -- if you're a US soldier, you're allowed to do the traditional masculine thing. You use that superior muscle mass, and natural aggressive tendency for good. You protect the weak, you respect women (they drill it into you even if you don't come by it naturally), and you kill bad guys. And, while there are a few clinkers in the military, they're the exception - and they're likely to get court-martialed.
HotChickBudgie reported the other night that the voluntary son called her from boot camp, saying he likes the army, but has done some soul searching, and discovered he's not a killer. I could have told him that; murder is not in this young man's heart. And, I think that's a good thing. Killing a guy that's shooting at you is not murder, nor is decimating an army that's protecting a regeime that murders innocents. Good men did that forty years ago, and that's why we don't speak German or Japanese.
Part of the process of growing up for both men and women is learning to recognize what needs to be done -- doing it -- and learning to live with the consequences. Life's not always about a good choice, there are times when you have to choose between what's bad, and what's worse. Or what's horrible -- and what's evil.
Masculine qualities in the military are both desirable and praised. And, it's not just masculine traits -- it's the concept of the good man. The straight shooter, the dude who will help you repair your house, the guy who'll protect you from harm ... and the man who'll kill villians in the world if his country demands it. (and, yes, yes, I know, there are women in the military as well, and that's a topic for another blog entry)
So, for today's male teenagers, joining the military (or the police or the fire department) just might be the only place where they can be who they are. Men. Not gay guys, or sensitive house husbands, or self flagellating novelists, or greedy capitalists, or rapists of all women -- but simple, basic, decent guys.
See, the average decent guy in this country is not exactly honored for who he is. Alot of women tend to blame men for every problem in their lives. I think it's past time for us to take responsibility for our own lives -- to use the freedoms we've won, to take responsibility for our own mistakes, and let the men in our lives be who they are.
Perhaps someday, other professions will permit men to once again be themselves. Of course, if men are allowed to be masculine -- then women can be feminine. Which is not a bad thing for anyone.
Incidentally, please click to CampKatrinaBlog for examples of really decent guys, doing really good things. And congratulations to Officer Candidate Phil Van Treuren.
(photo from MichaelYon. I hope he wins his Pulitzer.) ¶ 8:00 AM
